Reflections on classic D&D from someone who definitely wasn't there.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Musings on the Pimp Slap of Doom...
"If he so much as slaps with his open hand the blow causes 1-4 hit points of damage."
- AD&D Monster Manual
For whatever reason, the sheer unnecessary, positively florid detail of this passage has always held my attention ever since I first read it as a child.
I can't help but wonder, after all these years, if this has ever actually payed off. I mean, has Orcus, Prince of the Undead, ever actually slain a PC with his fabled ability to dish out a casual dagger bitchslap? In any campaign? Ever?
My God! Talk about bragging rights! I don't really expect a concrete answer to this question. At least not in my lifetime. But really, think about how fucking cool that would be!
Will Mistretta is a old-school (A)D&D enthusiast from Washington. Born in 1978, he also enjoys video gaming, weird folklore, and zoology. His job is not worth mentioning. He has far too many wonderful pets.